Testing Motherhood

Today was a true test in motherhood. It was the first time that the real world would come crashing down on my little boy. My sweet, naive kindergartener is always full of joy and happiness. He loves school, his teacher, and his friends. He loves coming home and doing his homework. He gets so excited he can hardly ever wait to tell me all about his day. However, his perfect little bubble popped today and it was the hardest thing I could do to not break down in tears when I saw the sadness in his eyes. He was on the verge of tears and without even knowing the situation, my heart broke for him. Not because of what happened or the situation, but that for the first time in his short, joyous life, he has felt true sadness and heartache. I tried to coax information out of him, but he would not budge. Luckily, his good friend was nearby and was willing to spill the beans.

We walked in quiet from the school to the car. And as we drove the short 3min drive to our home, he only stared out the window, not saying a word. He sat in the car for a few moments before climbing out. I went to him and just held him in my arms. Told him I loved him and that I am here for him no matter what happened or happens. That he can always tell me anything.

It took him a few more minutes and lots of re assurance from me that he was not in trouble before he would open up to me. I wanted him to trust me and I had to stay calm for him. I want him to come to me with anything. So, he finally told me what happened. That he was playing a little too rough with a classmate at school and he put his hands around the boys neck a little too roughly. Because of this action, his color/behavior chart at school was changed to a yellow (not good). For the 7 weeks of school he has only had positive behavior and this was his first offense. But, it crushed him. Simply because he thought he was just playing. However, I do understand the need for consequences and he should have it for his action.

We sat down and talked about what happened and he understands what he did wrong. He wrote a letter to the little boy, apologizing for what happened. Just a simple, “I am sorry” and his name. He feels better about the situation, but I could tell he was still a little upset because he only wanted to read one book tonight.

Neither of us has had to deal with this type of situation before and I hope it’s the last. I am not sure I can handle seeing him this sad again.