Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire…that is this months Netflix #Streamteam topic for discussion. How do you cope when you catch your kids lying?
“You’re a liar”, it’s not something you want to say to your child, but you know at some point, you will. By now my kids are fully aware that I have eyes and ears everywhere. My kids are all older now (almost 13, 14 & 17) so they know that if they lie to me, they will, usually, get caught and have some serious explaining to do. While I feel I am the most lenient parent out there, I also have rules and expectations that must be met. I fully disclose to them that I am watching them, and if I am not watching, someone else usually is. They all tease me now that I am stalking them. Yes, yes that is true. I am stalking them. But until they reach the age of 18 and/or move out of my house, I will continue to “stalk” as they put it. Me? I just say I am parenting, but until either of those two requirements have been met, I’ll continue what I am doing because it’s working for my family.
You see, my mom radar goes up and I can pretty much tell when my kids are lying to me. Sure, they’ve snuck a few things past me, but their guilt usually sets in and then they’ll fess up. Here is a prime example of my “stalking” in action. My oldest had met someone and she wanted to have her go to the store with us one day. I went to pick up this girl and you know when you first get that feeling that the kid isn’t going to be a good influence on your child? Well, I had that. I kept things to myself and let my then 15 year old daughter figure out that not all people are what and who they claim to be. The school year went on and they ended up fighting over a boy (of course), so my daughter backed out and didn’t want to have anything to do with any of the people in that “group”, which was F.I.N.E. by me. During the course of the next year, my daughter kept telling me not so pleasant stories about this girl. So, speed up a year and she now has slowly started talking with the girl again. She wanted to hang out with her one day after school. I told my daughter that I didn’t like the idea of her hanging around with her, but to avoid the whole “you won’t let me hang out with her, so I am going to sneak around and hang out with her” story, I let her go. She said the girl would pick her up and they would just hang out at her house and she’d bring her home when ever I said. Ok…sounds good. The girl picked up my daughter and my husband and I heard the girl speed away down the street. That right there threw up red flags everywhere. So, what’s a mom to do? Track her where about’s using the “Find My iPhone” app that I force my kids to never take off their phones or they’ll get their phones taken away. I discover during that “stalking” moment that she wasn’t where she said she was going to be and didn’t bother to let me know that her plans changed. I didn’t bother her until she came home. Upon her entering the house I just asked her nonchalantly how her time with this girl was. She sat on the couch and said it was good. I then asked if that was all she did was go to the girls house, to which she replied, “yes”. I said, “Are you sure that’s all you did? That’s the answer your sticking with?”, she looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then she began to get nervous and panic. And at that moment, she knew that I just caught her smack dab in the middle of a lie. I proceeded to explain to her my reasons for not wanting her to hang out with this girl. I told her I gave her one opportunity to prove that this girl would be a positive influence in her life and she failed. I also explained to her that if she ever changes locations, she needs to notify me. A simple quick text saying, “mom, I’m going to Ryan’s house”, or “Mom, we are running to McDonalds”…anything, just so I know that she is safe and in the event of an emergency, I know how to reach her or locate her. I used that lying moment as a way to teach her a valuable lesson about responsibility. For me, I cope with lying by teaching. Everyone lies, everyone makes mistakes, we are all human. But my job is to parent and to teach my kids life long lessons that help to shape and mold them into being responsible, respectable members of society, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it too!
Netflix has also just released their newest original series titled, Bloodline. The Rayburns have some dark family secrets that they are willing to do anything to keep from coming out, lying included! Bloodline stars Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights) and set in the Florida keys. The series follows a family caught between the ugly truth and the terrible lie that covers it up. I’m about to check that series out now! Netlix also has a great line up of movies for little ones to big ones that share valuable life lessons when it comes to lying, so be sure to check those out too! I’ve listed them below:
For your little kids:
1. The Gruffalo
2. Care Bears: S1E8, Untruths and Consequences
3. Veggie Tales in the House: S1E9, Lie-monade
4. Little Princess: S1E9, I Didn’t Do It
For your older kiddos:
1. Totally Spies!
2. A.N.T. Farm: S3E9, Pants on Fire
3. Spy School
4. Jessie: S1E14, World Wide Web of Lies
For your teens {or yourself}:
1. Bloodline
2. Revenge
3. The Bling Ring
4. Pretty Little Liars
So, the next time you catch your kid in the middle of a lie, perhaps you all should take a seat on the couch and give one of these shows a try. It may help to transition into the “if I ever catch you lying again….” discussion! 🙂
