I’m so proud of you!

Alyssa - 5 yrs

Almost 13 years ago I gave birth to a little girl who I have had so many hopes and dreams for since the moment I found out I was pregnant.  During my entire pregnancy, I would talk to her as if she were already breathing the same air as me.  Before this pregnancy, I had three others that ended in miscarriages.  It was the hardest thing to go through, so needless to say, when I was pregnant for the forth time, I was a bit paranoid and would visit the doctor quite frequently just to see and hear that little tiny fast-beating heartbeat.  It was music to my ears and the sweetest vision to see.  Once we knew for sure, she was a she, yep, she instantly became my best friend.  Once we had a name for her, it just all became more real.  She was going to be a very special little girl.  She was my blessing, my angel, and she chose me.  I had believed all along (or it was what I was telling myself during the process of losing 3 babies) that the children I was going to give birth to were the very souls that would pick me, specifically, to be their mom and the ones I lost, were simply the ones that were not meant for me.  I later went on to have my daughter followed by another miscarriage, then my son, and ultimately my youngest daughter.  All were very different journeys.

But back to my oldest.  She will be turning 13 in just a few months.  We often think that by giving birth to a child, we will be teaching them things, when in fact, I believe that they are here to teach us a thing or two.  I have learned so much from my daughter.  She has taught me how to think and live positively.  She teaches me on a daily basis the meaning of strength.  She teaches me what its like to be a teenager all over again (even though I could do without that lesson).  She has taught me all about what I put my own mom through…sorry mom!

7th Grade Yearbook Picture

In all that she is teaching me, she is also teaching me what it’s like to be a strong person because she is the strongest young lady I have yet to meet.  She is full of passion and love.  She is creative and she is wise beyond her years.  She is reliable and honest, brutally honest sometimes.  She is giving and compassionate.  She has a love for animals like I’ve never seen, even the rat thing she called a hamster!  She has a sparkle in her eye and has a beautiful singing voice.  Her smile will make you smile.  She is tall and beautiful.  She is kind and respectful.  She is an amazing big sister.  She is responsible.  She is loved more than she even realizes.

She is my sunlight on the darkest of days.  She is my rock when things aren’t going my way.  She is my cheerleader when I need a good pick-me-up.  She is my best friend.  When she thinks she doesn’t need me, she needs me more.  When I think I don’t need her, I need her more.  She has and will forever hold a special place in my heart, for she chose me to be her mom.  She may not hear it enough, or may hear other things during the chaotic school day, but I am going on record to say, that she makes me proud each and every day for just being who she is, my daughter.  I love you!  Love, Mom <3