Operation: No Longer Homeless

Homeless Update #1

As you learned in an earlier post,  my husband and I have taken in my brother in law who was previously homeless.  He has lived with us since right after the first of the year, so we’re just at the 3 month mark.  I just wanted to share a quick update to let you know how things stand at the moment.

Life has been super crazy.  My husband has been laid off work for about 3 months and it has been extremely hard, wait, no, it’s been fucking hard.  I honestly do not know too many people who would deal with this stress day in and day out every 9 months for 20 years, I just don’t.  Anyone who is married to someone in the trades, I sympathize with you.  It is not easy at all.  The constant lay offs and unemployments, etc… it’s exhausting.  However, add that to the fact that we were now letting my brother in law into our already stressed family and you’ve opened up a whole new ball of wax.

If I didn’t know any better, I would have said this entire situation fucking sucks.  No one wants to deal with their own stress and then add more to it.  That’s just fucking insane, isn’t it????

But, I have happy news.  The pros to this situation totally out weigh the cons to date.  I’m not saying the cons won’t creep up from time to time, but as they say in AA….we are all taking it “One day at a time”, and hoping for the best.

Here are some of the pros that I have discovered by accepting him into our home.

A.  BIL is building a relationship with my husband, which is something he never really had.
B.  BIL is building a relationship with myself, which is something I never really had.
C.  BIL is slooooowly building a relationship with his nieces and nephew, which he never had.
D.  BIL is constantly helping around the house without being asked, he just does what ever he thinks we need, or he may ask if we need help with anything for the day.
E.  BIL has totally cleaned out my basement…hello…that was SO helpful to me!  If you would have seen it before, you’d be amazed!  And, he did it in like 3 days!  3 kids…that ass-full of shit down there would have kept me busy for at least 6 months just by sorting it all and he completed it in 3 fucking days!  Amazing.
F.  BIL cleans up after dinner!  He clears the table, cleans pots and pans, countertops and puts leftovers in the fridge!
G.  BIL helps with the purchase of food for our dinners.  He’s even purchased some of our everyday food for us too.  He is responsible for his own breakfast and lunch foods, so all we really help him with is dinner and that totally works out for me too because I don’t throw away as much food {2 of the 3 kids are too picky so they usually make their own dinners so I have plenty of leftovers to share}.
H.  BIL cleans the bathroom!  Yes ladies, I feel as if I have won the lottery right there!
I.  BIL has become somewhat of my own personal assistant.  He will come with me to the store, run errands, walk the dog, etc…. He’s just there to help where ever and when ever I need it, and that feels good.
J.  He never asks me for a ride to work.  He would rather walk the 6 miles to get there than to have to ask me for a ride, especially now that he knows how my anxiety has been lately.
K.  He contributes to the household expenses.  He helped us pay our water bill and a couple others in the last two weeks alone.
L.  He’s been attending his AA meetings 1-2 times a week depending on his work schedule.
M.  He’s looking for a second job to help out even more and to save for his own car.
N.  Having him here makes my husband happy.
O.  Knowing my husband is happy with our decision makes me happy.
P.  He’s no longer homeless
Q.  He’s looking for a church to attend {which may be a good thing for me as well because I’ve been thinking about going to a non-denominal church}.
R.  He reminds me every day how blessed we all are.

Cons….  right now, I can’t think of any.  Not. A. One.

Best part….today I spoke with my dad and he received the lowdown.  I haven’t spoken to him about it at all, but today he asked and today I opened up and shared.  He didn’t come out and say it, but I think he is proud of us for doing what we’re doing.  He doesn’t want to come out and say it, primarily because of the slack he’d hear from my mom, but I could tell, he was proud.  You know how I could tell?  At the end of our conversation, he said…and I quote, “I love you”, and I responded, “I love you too”.

That’s what it’s all about.  Showing your family you love them in any way you can.  Whether it be with direct words, or actions.  What did you choose today?